Apocalypsis Mortuis
by LadyKakuHida
Summary: It started about two weeks ago, things had started getting… weird. Any animal activity had ceased, leaving the streets eerily quiet. Technology had started acting up, clocks had stopped. It was as if the world knew what was coming. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Another one written for the 100 challenge XD My obsession with zombies has turned it into a multichapter story D: I haven't even got to them yet and it's already longer than what I usually write =.= Ah well, it's fun XD I have probably completely decimated most of the characters, and for this I apologise in advance. OTL. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto ^^**

The doomsday clock loomed over them. The death tally steadily growing higher and higher as the hours went by. This whole ordeal had changed them all. Tobi especially, he hadn't said anything for days, not after Zetsu…

It had started about two weeks ago, things had started getting…weird. Any animal activity had ceased, leaving the streets eerily quiet. Technology had started acting up, clocks had stopped. It was as if the world knew what was coming. Then the dead had started walking and everything had gone mad. Riots broke out and people were killing each other left and right, regardless of whether they were living or dead. Nobody was trusted. The Akatsuki however were smart enough to stay together, and with Kisames "experience" from the countless amounts of books, games and movies he had seen about zombies, they were safe. Well as safe as one could be in these times.

* * *

"I'm hungry," Even in all this chaos Hidans bitching had not quit and to some extent they were grateful for it, it presented them all with a sense of normality, of familiarity. They had all met up at the Uchiha 'mansion'; it was the most fortified while they came up with a plan. Sasuke had decided (been forced) to put aside his differences with Itachi if he wanted to get out of this with him and his friends alive. He had told his little blonde friend to 'get his scrawny ass over here and bring as many people as you can as soon as possible'. Even the youngest Uchiha recognised the sheer immensity of the danger they were facing right now. Thankfully his little orange boyfriend, Naruto, they learnt his name was, was smart enough not to bring anyone infected with him

"I had to leave Sakura and Neji, they'd both been bitten," He hadn't cried, he wouldn't cry, but there was a look in his eyes that none of them could miss. He had latched on to Sasuke, burying his head in his chest and murmuring softly to himself

"They- they told me to go, they knew what would happen, they told me to go," he was repeating this phrase over and over, growing more ashen faced the more it left his lips. He had managed to bring Chouji, Gaara, Lee, Shikamaru, TenTen and Hinata. The Hyuga was currently sobbing in the corner mourning the loss of her cousin while Konan, who harboured a soft spot for the girl, stroked her hair comfortingly.

Shikamaru and Hidan were arguing softly, well as softly as one could argue, while Kakuzu kept an eye on them. They were known for getting violent with each other. Something about the other just got their blood boiling; enough to make the usually lazy Shikamaru motivated enough to fight.

"You've got a pineapple on your fucking head,"

"You've got the hair of a ninety year old man," Chouji was also keeping an eye on them, but more for amusement than for anything else. He would often place bets with Kakuzu as to who would win. Never using money of course. Unless it was a particularly interesting match, in which case they would bet money and the last crisp, which Kakuzu had come to understand was as important to the chubby boy as money was to him.

Lee and TenTen were also comforting Hinata; the three of them (Lee, TenTen and Neji) had been friends since nursery and his death was just as hard on them. Gaara had kept to himself, simply watching out the window, emotionless. He had been the one to fill them all in after Naruto had broken down. Sasori, an old friend to the Sabaku family, had tried to ask about his brother and sister, but the younger redhead had just clammed up and turned away. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Most of them had been at Narutos' house when Sasuke had called, so they didn't have far to go to find each other. Lee and TenTen had been picked up on the way (along with an injured Neji, who, knowing his fate, decided it safer for them to go on without him) only a few blocks away from their destination.

"Oreo-kun?" Tobi looked up from his game, noticing his long time best friends' uneasy mood.

"Yes?" He didn't even look at Tobi, his eyes were fixated on Konan and the young girl who had arrived with Narutos' little group.

"Are we- are we going to die?" Zetsu stared at the smaller boy, shocked. It wasn't like him to ask something so morbid. He didn't answer for a while and Tobi went back to his previous time waster

"Everyone dies eventually," Morbid question, morbid answer, made sense right?

"Why can't we just stay here? It's safe and there's plenty of space and food!" There was a desperate tone in his voice, quite understandably. So far going outside had only led to death. Madara had been killed trying to escape, Fugaku had been killed trying to escape, and Mikoto soon after that. Nobody had made it out yet, what made them so special?

"Tobi…" Zetsu pulled him into a hug, seeing he was going to get hysterical, "Even if we did stay here we wouldn't be able to for long. We don't know how long this thing will last and running out of food will be unavoidable,"

"Well can't we at least wait? So we have more time to prepare?"

"That does make sense," Kisame admitted after a few minutes thought. Murmurs of agreement broke out in the room and they turned to Pein, whom they had all accepted (albeit reluctantly on most of their parts), as the leader.

"Rest for now. Nobody's in the mood to make a move today anyway,"

The next few days passed slowly with nothing much to do other than plan, attempt to get over friends deaths as much as possible, and think. Even Hidan and Shikamaru had given up on bickering and Tobis' game hadn't been touched. It was another few days still before they were ready to move out. But the time came.

"So what's the plan –ttebayo?" Naruto had demanded upon hearing of its completion. The group was gathered around a table they had found in a store cupboard while searching for supplies and ways in or out, listening intently to the Akatsukis' (or rather, Kisames') plan.

"Alright, it's a bit of a long shot but just bear with me," Thankfully the internet had still been up and running so they had managed to get a map of the city and access to reports on where the most zombies were appearing. Neither the radio nor the TV was working anymore. Itachi had suggested that they were dubbed more important than 'us mere commoners' and had been jetted away to a zombie free Hawaii…Or Alaska, as Kisame had pointed out was far more likely, due to the undead freezing from lack of body heat.

"Well first we need to get out of this place, that much is obvious,"

"If it's obvious then why'd you need to fuckin' tell us!"

"Now is _not_ the time. Shut up and listen," Kakuzu swatted him round the head

"Anyway, you…the green one, Lee was it?" The spandex clad teen nodded excitedly in affirmation, as if ecstatic they were going to be walking straight to their deaths, "Yeah, Lee found a way out of here. There are still some of them out there but it gives us our best shot. It's one of the back doors, one of the ones _Hidan_ was supposed to check," he paused, glaring up at said Jashinist, who merely flipped him the bird in return.

"It leads to a small tunnel like thing which should allow us to get onto the roof. You know, because heaven forbid the great Uchihas' do anything the straightforward way. Like install a fire exit. Anyhow, once we've gotten onto the roofs we can make our way to the shopping center, where we can prepare for the next step," There was a few minutes silence while everybody took in the plan, Itachi wondering who would break the silence first; Hidan, Tobi or Naruto? Really they were all as bad as each other.

"W-What will w-we do th-then?" Oddly enough it was little Hinata who had spoken up first, taking them all by surprise. Over the past few days she had cried silently to herself when she thought nobody was looking. She hadn't really said much since she had arrived. Kisame, who seemed to have grown quite fond of the shy girl and saw her as sort of a younger sister, smiled… gently? Usually it was only Itachi who got that.

"You'll find out if we survive,"

**I quite like Hidan and Shikamaru bitching at each other... Sorry I fail at Naruto and Hinata ._. I quite like the idea of Hinata being the Akatsukis pet, as you can probably tell XD And KisaHina, the height difference is so adorable :3 The age difference...Not so much ¬¬ Well it's been not even one chapter technically, this is only the intro type thing, and I've already killed Temari, Kankuro, Neji, Sakura, Madara, Mikoto and Fugaku :D And I regret none of them :| Especially Sakura. In fact, it brought me joy to kill her off :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't really think anyone was interested in this So, er, yeah... thanks Uchiha Miaki for getting my lazy arse in gear xD I'mma change the name of this at some point =.= I hate the name. This is my first update of an actual story in ages XD Music Memes are my Achilles heel ._.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

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"If we survive? Yeah, that inspires confidence, un," Kisames' survival comment had caused quite an uproar among the group, apparently they didn't like realistic chances.

"Well there's no point in lying to you, we probably are going to get injured at least somewhere along the way. We're a big group, we're going to attract attention; and no, we can't just split up because as dangerous as a large group is, going it alone or with people who don't know what they're doing is suicide,"

"Then why bother at all, if we're going to die either way?" Sasuke was the only one unhappy with the argument, but really this is Sasuke; difficulty and emo tendencies are to be expected.

"Shut. Up." Gaaras' patience was already wearing thin and the Uchihas uncooperation wasn't helping.

"Yeah, listen to the fish dude-ttebayo!" Kisame had long since given up on getting his real name out of the young blonde and settled with a wilted glare.

"Actually I was finished, so... go get ready?" He looked towards Pein questioningly, grinning when the ginger boy nodded and walked off; everyone else scattering soon after.

They gathered on the roof; the journey up there had gone without incident and they simply stood gaping at the mass of shuffling corpses below them. The internet had been wrong. It had been very wrong. All eyes settled on Kisame who looked surprisingly chipper, given the situation.

"Plan B?"

Plan B as it turned out, was one of the most ridiculously dangerous things any of them had ever heard of; it involved rushing into the hoards of zombie completely unarmed and shoving them out of the way. There was so much wrong with the plan even _Naruto _could see. Predictably, the air was soon wrought with complains and questioning of sanity.

"How are we gonna run all the way there?"

"How are we gonna run all the way there without dying?"

"You're fucking crazy if you think we're-"

"_Shut. Up._" Yep. Gaara was pissed. Like, 'disembowel you, set fire to your internal organs and strangle you with your own burning intestines' pissed. Unsurprisingly, they shut up.

"Er, thanks? Anyway, we aren't completely unarmed. If Dead Rising has taught me anything it's that zombies can be killed, or at least delayed, with anything. And that orange juice is your best friend. But I don't think that applies in real life,"

"Sounds like a challenge. I accept! And so does Gaara!" Lee, for whatever reason, had taken it upon himself to be the redheads decision maker. He hadn't argued much, which shocked them all slightly. They had expected Lee to be dangled over a group of particularly hungry zombies within the hour the first time he did it (which was to say that Gaara didn't want rice.)

"I do? No I don't," his protests went unheard over Hidans loud cheering. The Jashinist had seemed unnaturally happy at the concept of the zombie apocalypse throughout this whole thing. Kisame had as well, but more a morbid fascination that actual happiness.

"I've got weapons anyway!" If they weren't before all heads turned to Hidan. They weren't surprised that he carried weapons round with him, no not at all- most of them actually expected it; but that he had taken this long to inform them of said weapons.

"And you didn't tell about this earlier because...?" They weren't sure who had spoken; they were too busy glaring at the masochist.

"I dunno, just seemed more fun without them,"

"What so _death_ is more entertaining that getting through this with as few casualties as possible, un? You're insane!"

"Damn right I am! Now get going girly boy, the fuckers've left without us," And indeed they had; each of them had taken a few weapons (with a little hesitance on Hinatas' part) and had left, knowing that the two could take some time.

* * *

"Nice to see you two made it," Kisame grinned at them over a relatively small crowd of zombies. Half of them had gotten stuck in killing as many as possible so that the other half could make it to safety. The Akatsuki had chosen to stay behind, sans Tobi and Zetsu; they had the most experience in fighting. Lee and Naruto had wanted to stay as well but they were told to protect the younger half of the group; the risk of someone getting bitten just wasn't worth it.

"Yeah, nice of you to wait you fucking bastards!" Each of his words were emphasised by a swift beheading. He looked around to see how the others were faring; usually he wouldn't care but these things creeped even him out. Itachi and Kisame were back to back, slashing and stabbing. 'Not a bad strategy,' he noted as Kisame swung his arm back just as Itachi ducked; allowing him to smoothly remove the creatures head. Itachi seemed to be going for the brain straight away; he must have seen it as more humane.

Deidara was... exploding them? Where the fuck did he get explosives from? Hidan carried around pretty much everything but. Eh, whatever, it was working. He did keep catching Sasori slightly though. The redhead was currently shouting at him to watch it but all he received in response was a hysterical cackle. Sasori himself was sticking to knives, it was dangerous for most but the arm closest to their mouth was his prosthetic arm so even if he did get bit it wouldn't make much difference.

Pein and Konan were nowhere to be seen. Oh, never mind. They seemed to have taken to the roofs with the guns. Hidan actually never used the guns; he wasn't even sure why he got them but he would quite happily jizz over the chest of whoever put the idea in his head after narrowly avoiding being munched on by one of the festering cadavers. Konan, he assumed, was the one handling the guns; Pain couldn't aim for shit. He could do pretty much anything but aim.

Kakuzu was... woah. He just killed one with it's own arm! That was fucking awesome!

"How the fuck did you do that! I wanna try!" He didn't get an answer; he got the arm thrown at his head. Good to know that even now Kakuzu was more focused on causing him harm than his own survival.

Overall they were doing quite well; there had been a few near misses but Pain and Konan had taken care of it. You could tell when Konan had the gun- the bullet actually hit its target.

The hoard was still going strong, though. It was like it was never going to en-

"AAAAAGH!"

Fuck.

* * *

**Yeah... fail cliffy xD Who d'you think it is then?**

**And yeah, I just wanted Konan to be the one with the gun... I suck at fight scenes ._. So far Gaara just seems to be here to get everyone quiet. It's shorter than the last one I think ^^' Sorry~ The actual plot should start in either the next chapter or the one after and I didn't wanna give anything away yet.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I can only write the Akatsuki D: The Konohanians give meh writers block. I've changed the ame of this thing about 3 times XD I've settled on this though :3 If Google Translate is to be trusted (which it isn't) it means Apocalypse of the Dead. This thing actually has a plan :O Shocking, I know.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

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Silence fell over those conscious of their minds for a second as they stared in horror at the gruesome scene in front of them. Teeth sinking in to pale skin; blood decorating the two of them as it spurted out of his vein and into the beasts awaiting maw. The scream echoed out above the groaning of the living dead as he pushed it away and proceeded to attack it viciously with the arm thrown at him previously.

"What the fuck was that for you fucking asshole! That fucking hurt!" Satisfied that the zombie was dead he turned back to the five (seven if Pein and Konan had seen)

"What? Oh right... Ow," He stared in awe at the gaping hole where his left thumb used to be. It was really quite fascinating; a hand without a thumb looked a little bit like a deformed foot.

"Where'd your thumb _go_?" Sasori asked, not seeing it in the fallen zombies mouth.

"I dunno, fucker probably ate it. Can we go, they're kinda… gone," and indeed they had; where and when they had shuffled off nobody knew, they were a bit preoccupied with Hidan.

"Yeah, but you should probably bandage that first though, Kakuzu," Pain and Konan had made their ways down to the group, taking care of any stray zombies beforehand. Kakuzu merely grunted in reply; tearing off a strip of his shirt to tie around the injured mans' hand. They would get it fixed properly when they met up with the others,

"Do we even know where they went?" Itachi asked, looking a bit paler than usual.

"Yeah, we told them to go to the nearest superstore. It should keep us safe for the time being," Kisame said. They moved out in search of their missing men.

It was not until halfway there (though they didn't know that at the time) that the implications of Hidan getting bit dawned on them.

"Holy shit, he's gonna turn isn't he, un!" they had been, for once, in silence. Deidara's shocked gasp had snapped them all out of their thoughts, whether they be pondering the likelihood of retaining their mortality or whether or not it would be worth using Tobi as bait.

"Oh son of a bitch, could this get any fucking worse? Seriously!" Hidan halted in his tracks and dropped to the his knees with an irritated groan, awaiting what he thought was going to be his execution. When none came he looked up, confused. What he saw shocked him, to say the least. Half of them had walked on, the other half were staring at him, having no idea what he was doing.

"Come on you idiot," Kakuzu hauled the smaller boy over his shoulder, ignoring his cries of protest, and stalking off to carry on searching.

"What the shit? Are you guys fucking retarded! I could kill any of you and you're not even gonna leave me? That's... sweet. In a totally gay and suicidal way," He twisted his body in a very awkward position that actually didn't look possible and grinned at them all cockily, "I knew you guys loved me, I mean why wouldn't you? I am me after all, and I _am _too fucking awesome for words," His ramblings would have continued the whole trek if not for Kakuzu 'accidentally' dropping him on his head, knocking him out.

"Why are we keeping him alive then? Are we just going to wait until he turns?" the lone female of the group voiced.

"Do you really want to deal with killing him while he's still human? It's stupid but you know none of us would be able to kill him, even if he did want to be killed," Pain replied. They stayed quiet; they knew he was right.

* * *

"You have got red on you," Lee pointed at his new pet – Gaaras' - chest. They had run into some of the undead on the way there and the redhead had gone sick on them.

None of them were really surprised that he had snapped; the loss of Temari and Kankuro had taken it toll on his already lacking sanity and it was only a matter of time before he killed someone.

They were just glad it wasn't one of them. It was the ferocity of his attack that had shocked them. They hadn't expected anything that violent; Hinata and Tobi wouldn't even look him in the eye now.

All Lee got in reply was a glare that could level mountains and a nice view of Gaaras' arse as he left to sulk inbetween the watermelons.

"They're back! GUYS, OVER HERE!" Tobi was jumping up at the doors; bashing on them, trying to get the attention of the Akatsuki. It worked, they rushed over and let themselves in as fast as possible.

"You have no idea how much this hurts, do you? You can't just bash me about like that you fucktard!" Hidan, upon awakening, wasted no time complaining about Kakuzus' rough treatment of him.

"How much what hurts? If you've gotten bitten you can't stay here," Sasuke glared at them venomously.

"Chill dude, we've already decided he's gonna be tied up so calm your little ass down, un," Deidara flicked the slightly shorter boy on the nose and pushed past him in search of food.

"T-tied up? Are you fucking insane! Not only are we gonna have a zombie with us, we're gonna have a fucked off zombie with us that we can't even kill because we're attached to it!" Hidan grinned at the confirmation of his awesomeness (as he saw it, anyway) while Itachi only gave him a stern glance.

"Language, Sasuke. Just because Mother and Father aren't here doesn't mean you can start speaking like Hidan,"

"I resent that," Hidan piped up from where Sasori and Kakuzu were tying him up to the shelves of Marmite.

"Oh, this is bullshit, you can't tie him up on the Marmite!" Sasukes' attempt at a scandalised tone came out more like a whiny five year old.

"Why not? Nobody likes the stuff," Sasori deadpanned, not looking up from the double constrictor knot he was tying

"I do!"

"Exactly," Kakuzu smirked

* * *

"Gaara? I am sorry if I have done anything to annoy you..." He was ignored; at first he thought that the younger boy was asleep but seeing as this was Gaara, he quickly dispelled the thought.

"Gaara? Gaara!" He looked up slowly; Lee backed away in horror, running away as fast as possible from him.

"Naruto! There is something wrong with Gaara, he- he is. I do not know what is wrong with him but you have to come and help me!"

Naruto snapped his head up and apologising to Hinata, whom he had been consoling, he grabbed his shovel (which he had found in someones garden after failing to use a machete correctly) and followed the distraught boy, fearing the worst.

"Gaara? Oh... oh God," Naruto went pale. It wasn't that Gaara was a zombie, no. He was crying. _Gaara_ was crying. It wasn't loud or obnoxious, just the odd silent tear. He hadn't appeared to have noticed them.

"Temari... Kankuro..." They understood. The living corpses of his siblings were part of the mass that they had run into. They had all hoped that in the redheads blind rage he had not noticed.

"Gaara, they may have looked like them but it wasn't. The Temari and Kankuro you know are dead-ttebayo," Naruto slung an arm over his shoulder and Lee did the same on the other side.

"I know... and if you tell anyone about this I'll kill you myself,"

They wouldn't put it past him.

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**Oh yeah, can you just feel the bromance? ¦D OOC Gaara is OOC. But I'm trying to get him to do something other than just shut people up so... meh. Anyone catch the Shaun of the Dead reference? And would anyone be interested in a ghost story? With attempted SasoDei? ._.**


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